Babbling out about... relationships

So people don’t really believe me when I say I’ve been the last… don’t know how many, but i guess was since 2000 when I end up with the last girlfriend, of course I had one or two sort of girlfriends express, you know what I mean? Relationship that ended as quick as they started.

The thing is people act really surprised when I say when was the last time I had a girlfriend, naturally, as time goes by, the time I’ve been alone gets longer and people tends to be more, lets say… overreacted.

But for me, the situation is not that tragic, nor strange; for me is just the natural result of what is happening. For some reason I still don’t understand, when I say to a girl what I feel, the common answers are: “Oh really? but I don’t feel the same, sorry!“, “I love you too! but not in the same way…“, “Can we just be friends?” and other phrases like that.

Interestingly enough, when I chat with my online contacts (let’s call it e-friends for short) they seems to agree in their opinions and what I read from them is: “How is that possible? you are so sweet!“, “Oh but you are so charismatic!“, “Why? Mexican girls must be blind!“; well, e-friends are e-friends, and my guess is that is easy to say stuff like that to someone you might never know in person, just to cheer me up or something.

Sometimes I’ve heard the same from friends I know in person: “but you are so nice! I’m sure you will find someone soon!“. Of course, always “to find someone” means “someone else“, not the person who is telling me; of course! Saying other things is crazy talk!

I am everything what a girl could want, seriously! my friend said that! They haven’t realized yet, I just have to wait and see how eventually they will realize what they’ve been missing. Also that was said by my friend. This time, this friend, is a married friend. Of course.

What do I have to do?

Do I go out and start searching for someone? “If you are searching for real love you won’t find it, just when you stop searching for it, it will show up“, someone said.

So I sit and wait for my true love to fall on my arms from the sky? “No! You can’t just sit and wait! You have to gou out and search for it!” some other person said.

What I have to do its pretty clear then: I have to search without searching and wait without waiting.

“You have to get a haircut, and dress up properly to get some girls“, said for the half of my friends. I’m still trying to decide what to “dress up properly” means.

“You have to learn to dance salsa and you will get all the girls you can imagine!“. This suggestion actually works, as demonstrated by a male friend, but I really don’t like salsa and, actually, I’m not up for one night stands.

“You just have to be yourself and you will find someone!“. I’m always myself, I always say. But still, no luck.

The right way for things to happens, I think, is this: you meet someone, you like each other, then you live to please her. Doing it the other way, to please her just for her to like you, well, seems to me like a wrong way to do it.

“True love doesn’t exist! so you can’t find it!“. Every time I hear this, well, I only smile and try hard not to laugh, I have no doubt that real love exists, and I don’t have to be a hippy tree-hugger to realize that; it just might be that I’m not meant to find it, that could be a valid explanation; after all, the fact that I’m not insanely rich doesn’t mean that rich people doesn’t exists! It’s so silly to think that!

Of course I have no way to know if “I’m meant to” find love sometime, I can just hope that someone it will happen and dream about the time when I finally find a warm shoulder to rest my head on, soft lips to tenderly kiss, small waist to put my arms around, beautiful eyes to look into and realize that God must exist!

Yeah, I’m a dreamer looking for a dream girl that might not exist… but hey! is not that bad, who am I to say what should be and what not?

Just live and let live.